too_oldforthiss



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Shane was twelve when hockey scouts started showing up to his games. He was barely fifteen when a check went horribly wrong, fucked his knee to hell and gave him a grade III concussion. During rehab he found swimming, and he was seventeen when he went to the Olympics as an alternate for freestyle swim events.

    He’s 24 and working for his mom’s sports PR company when he meets Ilya Fucking Rozanov.

    May contain: Shane Hollander navigating what it means to be mostly normal when your whole childhood was about preparing you for greatness. Shane Hollander attempting to flirt. Possibly less than 100% accurate descriptions of what a sports PR agent does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,704
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    1,687
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    30 Mar 2026

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  2. Rec *

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    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,781
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    9,199
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    4,277
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    10 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    shane hollander is drafted to the boston raiders in 2010, one year after ilya rozanov. it changes a lot.

    Words:
    225,383
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,350

    15 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    @IlyaRozanovOfficial✅ Happy to announce that I WILL be pounding Shane Hollander tonight! That ass is MINE!

    @CliffMarleau✅Brother, please ask me before you post shit like this.

    @BostonWAGOneDay pounding him into… the boards… right? RIGHT?

    @HollanderBabe24 in my dreams 🙏🙏🙏

    @HockeyFan81 PLEASE have someone proof-read this man’s Tweets.

    @IllyaRozanovOfficial✅ what is ‘proof-read’? Internet tells me this mean
    fix errors. What error? I said what I said.

    @HockeyFan81 I’M SCREAMING

    OR: Instead of just hooking up at the CCM shoot, Shane and Ilya start a serious relationship the summer before their rookie season. They are not public about their relationship, but Ilya sees no reason to lie when people ask him what he thinks of his biggest rival. Maybe it’s the Russian accent, though, because for some reason, everyone thinks he's joking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,517
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    474
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    5,014
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    1,349
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    26 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Rozanov watches him for a second, something a little sharper slipping into his gaze. “How did you figure it out?’’ He pauses. “That it’s me?’’

    “Mmm. First, I recognised your chain when you got out of the water.’’ Shane says brushing the cross that hung from Rozanov’s neck with a finger. “ I went to check the pictures you sent me to make sure it’s the same, and it was. Well and then you sent a message in the group chat.”

    “So you immediately texted me the moment you found out?’’

    “Basically, yeah.”

    “Good thing you do not think and also sent a message into chat.’’ Rozanov snickers teasingly.

    or

    The aftermath of Does it count as catfishing?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    118
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    2,598
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    214
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    20,019

    26 Apr 2026